I realize it has been quite some time since I have written anything. Things have been coasting along, for lack of a better term. J and I began marriage counseling, primarily to learn to communicate more efficiently and clearly. In the process, he has discovered he has an intimacy disorder. This falls under the sex … More Oh Boy! What a ride…
In this journey of healing with J, I’m discovering that there is some deep seated stuff I need to work through, myself. It is rather disturbing to know that one thing casts such a long shadow over my life. The overarching theme in my life is that I am never enough. Never good enough. Not … More I Am Enough
I know my last entry here was rather cryptic. For that, I apologize. I have been struggling with despairing of ever having the things I desire. Not always material things. Some emotional, some physical, some existential. I worry that I will never have the marriage I want. The relationship that I fantasize about with my … More I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want
What is true, real love? I suppose that’s a question we all have at some point in our lives. Some of us find the answer; some never do. I think I finally found it, as it applies to all the areas of my life. Please, allow me to explain. I have been married to the … More What is True Love??
In the last few days, I have wondered to myself, “Why would a person think that it’s okay to have a relationship with a married person?” Do they think that their married lover would never lie to them? Do they truly believe that what they have with their married lover is so special and unique … More Why Mess With a Married Man (Woman)?
My favorite flower is the tiger lily. It always has been for as long as I can remember. I’ve never really been sure why. I mean, they are a “ditch flower”. They grow in ditches alongside the road. In the dirt, and filth, and pollution, and garbage. As I think about it, I think that … More Tiger Lilies
On February 13, 2011, I posted the following to my Facebook. “This coming Saturday, J and I will have been married for 18 years. We have had our ups and downs. We have loved each other and hated each other. I wouldn’t trade him for the world. I love you honey, and I always will.” … More Some Pre-Anniversary Rambling
Your spouse doesn’t do the things you want. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to treat yourself. You work so hard. You deserve to relax. You have been so good on your diet. You deserve that piece of cheesecake. You never do anything for yourself. You deserve to buy that expensive thing. You put … More You Deserve It
Life has been a little crazy lately. I am a little bit lost. I kind of feel like I’m just adrift at the moment. Not really anchored to anything and just floating on rough seas. I feel a bit like Peter. I have faith to step out of the boat and onto the water with … More Fear
Our pastor said something this morning during the message that got me thinking. He said that if you are a Christian, but have never had trials, then maybe you don’t have a testimony, but rather a “testi-phony”. This gave me pause. Why? Well…. I think that there are a lot of “testi-phony” people out there. … More Testi-phony