Food and Being Fat

I have had a problem, for a long time, with emotional or boredom eating.  For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I sabotage myself that way.  I can go a couple months with a change in eating habits, and do perfectly okay.  I start making progress, seeing visible change, and then…BAM!!  I am right back to overeating, bingeing, and shoveling food in that I know is not good for me.

I was diagnosed Type 2 diabetic last year and am very insulin resistant and for a while, kept it under control with diet, exercise, and weight reduction.  But for several months now, I have been on and off the wagon with working out and eating properly.  It makes no sense.  I follow a ketogenic diet for my T2D.  Or at least I follow it when I’m actually following it.  Don’t bother telling me about the current nutritionists recommendation of 40g of carbs per meal.  I don’t buy it.  Here’s why…   More and more research is coming forth, showing the errors in traditional thinking and recommendations.  And I know it works because I feel better, I look better, I’m not hungry all the time, I have no gas, I have no bloating, I have more energy, and I make great progress in my weight lifting workouts.  My hair and nails grow like crazy.

That being said, it makes  zero sense why I jump off the wagon.  I don’t fall, I make the choice to eat garbage.  What am I trying to hide or cover or protect by keeping myself fat?  And if that’s what I’m doing, then I’m even more disgusted with myself because I don’t believe I should be blaming anything other than myself for the choices I make.  I’m an adult.  It’s my choice what to put in my mouth.

And just so you know, I think all this “fat acceptance” movement is garbage.  I don’t care if it hurts your feelings, but being fat will never be healthy.  NEVER.  You may not have issues now, but I guarantee your body is in the beginnings of major problems.  You are not a special snowflake that can avoid the consequences of that body abuse forever.  Neither am I.  Protest as much and as loudly as you like, I still call BS.

So now, I’m on a mission to fix whatever switch is messed up in my mind that allows or encourages me to make these poor food choices.  I want to be healthy for my family.  I want to be around for my grandsons and any future grandchildren I may have.  I want to see my 3 youngest get married.  I want to have an active life with my husband.  I don’t want to spend my life on medication that could be avoided.  This has become a very emotionally charged issue for me.  Before I had kids, I was naturally thin.  I could eat whatever.  That is who my husband married.  Now, I’m twice the woman I used to be.  That needs to end.

Do you have any good resources for this type of issue?  Do you have the same binge and emotional eating issue?  How are you working on it?


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