You Deserve It

Your spouse doesn’t do the things you want. You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to treat yourself.
You work so hard. You deserve to relax.
You have been so good on your diet. You deserve that piece of cheesecake.
You never do anything for yourself. You deserve to buy that expensive thing.
You put in more hours at work. You deserve that raise more than she does.

Do you see a pattern here? Deserve. I am beginning to think that word should be eliminated from our vocabulary. It is insidious and corrupting. It lets people think that, just by virtue of doing or being who they are SUPPOSED to be, that they are entitled to XYZ. It eliminates consequences to one’s actions. It absolves them, in their mind, of being selfish. The mentality that one deserves something, is the quick road to sin and destruction. When you think that way, it elevates you above other people. The Bible clearly tells us that, if God dealt with us as we deserve, we would all be spending eternity in Hell.

“But oh, that God would speak and open his lips to you, and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom! For he is manifold in understanding. Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves.” Job 11:5-6 (ESV)

There is none of us, based on our life choices, thoughts, actions, and sins, who deserves salvation. None of us deserved The Son to go to the cross and be crucified for our sin. None of us deserved Him to conquer death and sin on our behalf.

“They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” Romans 1:29-32 (ESV)

So all this to say, we deserve nothing good. God blesses us with good things according to His will. Not ours. It’s not based on our words or actions. It’s not based on the selfish lies people tell us to lead us to sin. It’s not based on the selfish lies we tell ourselves to justify our own selfishness. It is His grace, and His alone that pours out our blessings. He decides what, when, where, why, and how. His ways are higher than ours and the sooner we figure that out, the more we will find ourselves within His will for our lives. So stop telling yourself and others that you/they “deserve” good things. You are lying to them and you are lying to yourself.

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6 thoughts on “You Deserve It

  1. Cherished, I agree to some extent, however I have been using the word “deserve” a lot lately when explaining to H why he can’t just presume I’m going to give him another chance with me. The reason is – I do believe that I deserve to share my life with someone who will not betray me, who is my friend, and who is actually into me. I do believe I deserve that much, after all that I’ve endured. Does that mean I should commit adultery to get those things, as H did? No. I must allow those things to come to me in an honest relationship, not one that is created by lies.

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    1. I understand where you are coming from and can certainly see how you feel that way. And yes, your husband should not presume that you will give him another chance. I do think that the idea that we deserve or are entitled to a good marriage makes it that much easier to jettison the marriage rather than go through the hell of recovery and building a better marriage. It’s hard, brutal, painful work, but I don’t feel marriage is disposable. Yes, he acted as if it is, but I believe that God would rather a marriage be reconciled rather than divorce. Yes, He gives adultery as the exception that allows for divorce, but He also states that the divorced should remain unmarried unless they reconcile with their spouse. I’m not gonna lie, there have been times during all this, that I resented that God wants me to work on reconciliation. However, the more I look at myself and address my issues, the better this marriage looks. I dunno, maybe I’m rambling, but this is how I see it.

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      1. Earlier this year when I was lead to believe that there was just one affair, I may have wholeheartedly agreed with you. Now that I know there have been numerous, no, countless infidelities throughout our 27 year relationship, I’m leaning towards no, I deserve better than the hand I’ve been dealt.

        I did not deserve being betrayed by the man I trusted with my life, and I know for sure that I deserve better.

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      2. I am not trying to tell you that you have to believe what I believe. Just know that my husband has had more than one affair in our 23 years of marriage. I have committed the same sin more than a few times and God has forgiven me. I believe we are called to try to be as much like Christ as we can. And thankfully, he hasn’t given up on me when I repeat the same mistakes. And I feel I am called to try to be the same way. Nowhere in the Bible is a “limit” on 2nd chances or forgiveness. This is what I believe for me. You may not believe the same for yourself. What God wants for you and your marriage is between you and God. I’m just giving His calling for me.

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    1. I did say that the Bible makes allowance for adultery. I just don’t believe that it is His preferred action. I know for me, it is not. For others, I don’t know. I’m not them nor do I know what is between them and God. I’m just saying that I think many people use that “allowance” to justify divorce when in some cases, it’s not what God wants in their individual life.

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