Your spouse doesn’t do the things you want. You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to treat yourself.
You work so hard. You deserve to relax.
You have been so good on your diet. You deserve that piece of cheesecake.
You never do anything for yourself. You deserve to buy that expensive thing.
You put in more hours at work. You deserve that raise more than she does.
Do you see a pattern here? Deserve. I am beginning to think that word should be eliminated from our vocabulary. It is insidious and corrupting. It lets people think that, just by virtue of doing or being who they are SUPPOSED to be, that they are entitled to XYZ. It eliminates consequences to one’s actions. It absolves them, in their mind, of being selfish. The mentality that one deserves something, is the quick road to sin and destruction. When you think that way, it elevates you above other people. The Bible clearly tells us that, if God dealt with us as we deserve, we would all be spending eternity in Hell.
“But oh, that God would speak and open his lips to you, and that he would tell you the secrets of wisdom! For he is manifold in understanding. Know then that God exacts of you less than your guilt deserves.” Job 11:5-6 (ESV)
There is none of us, based on our life choices, thoughts, actions, and sins, who deserves salvation. None of us deserved The Son to go to the cross and be crucified for our sin. None of us deserved Him to conquer death and sin on our behalf.
“They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” Romans 1:29-32 (ESV)
So all this to say, we deserve nothing good. God blesses us with good things according to His will. Not ours. It’s not based on our words or actions. It’s not based on the selfish lies people tell us to lead us to sin. It’s not based on the selfish lies we tell ourselves to justify our own selfishness. It is His grace, and His alone that pours out our blessings. He decides what, when, where, why, and how. His ways are higher than ours and the sooner we figure that out, the more we will find ourselves within His will for our lives. So stop telling yourself and others that you/they “deserve” good things. You are lying to them and you are lying to yourself.