It’s been a long time since I’ve been here. Things are the same, yet so very different. I was sure we were on the road to a great marriage. Now, I feel like we are sliding right back into the same old patterns. I love him. I love the way we were a year ago. … More Hello Stranger!
So, my youngest daughter and I are embarking on a juice fast. We are aiming for 10 days. If, at the end of 10 days, we feel better, we will shoot for a longer goal. I am hoping that this fast can rid me of my cravings for carbs and help to cure my addiction … More A New Health Adventure
They say that comparison is the thief of joy. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. From my current perspective, everyone has it better than I do. I find myself jealous of the nicer houses, newer cars, pretty fingernails, the great job, fashionable clothes, vacations, fitness, makeup and trendy jewelry and such. I … More Comparison
I’ve been thinking about Christmas over the last 2 days. My mom and I may not have a great relationship now, but I remember she always made Christmas such a magical part of our year, even though we had very little money. The tradition of making cookies, decorating the tree, driving around to see Christmas … More Christmas Spirit
I realize it has been quite some time since I have written anything. Things have been coasting along, for lack of a better term. J and I began marriage counseling, primarily to learn to communicate more efficiently and clearly. In the process, he has discovered he has an intimacy disorder. This falls under the sex … More Oh Boy! What a ride…
In this journey of healing with J, I’m discovering that there is some deep seated stuff I need to work through, myself. It is rather disturbing to know that one thing casts such a long shadow over my life. The overarching theme in my life is that I am never enough. Never good enough. Not … More I Am Enough
I finally just start watching Grey’s Anatomy. Big mistake! Good show, but lots of triggery moments for me. The show’s protagonist starts the series off by sleeping with her married “superior”. Admittedly, she was initially unaware, but even when she was enlightened, she continued the relationship. As the series goes on, there are more people … More Infidelity and Popular Culture
I know my last entry here was rather cryptic. For that, I apologize. I have been struggling with despairing of ever having the things I desire. Not always material things. Some emotional, some physical, some existential. I worry that I will never have the marriage I want. The relationship that I fantasize about with my … More I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want
Things are moving along. Life is settling into a pattern. I feel like we’re on the edge of something disastrous.
I have had a problem, for a long time, with emotional or boredom eating. For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I sabotage myself that way. I can go a couple months with a change in eating habits, and do perfectly okay. I start making progress, seeing visible change, and then…BAM!! I … More Food and Being Fat