Comparison

They say that comparison is the thief of joy.  I have been thinking about this a lot lately.  From my current perspective, everyone has it better than I do.  I find myself jealous of the nicer houses, newer cars, pretty fingernails, the great job, fashionable clothes, vacations, fitness, makeup and trendy jewelry and such.  I … More Comparison

Christmas Spirit

I’ve been thinking about Christmas over the last 2 days. My mom and I may not have a great relationship now, but I remember she always made Christmas such a magical part of our year, even though we had very little money. The tradition of making cookies, decorating the tree, driving around to see Christmas … More Christmas Spirit

I Am Enough

In this journey of healing with J, I’m discovering that there is some deep seated stuff I need to work through, myself.  It is rather disturbing to know that one thing casts such a long shadow over my life. The overarching theme in my life is that I am never enough.  Never good enough.  Not … More I Am Enough

I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want

I know my last entry here was rather cryptic.  For that, I apologize. I have been struggling with despairing of ever having the things I desire.  Not always material things.  Some emotional, some physical, some existential.  I worry that I will never have the marriage I want.  The relationship that I fantasize about with my … More I’ll Tell You What I Want, What I Really Really Want

Food and Being Fat

I have had a problem, for a long time, with emotional or boredom eating.  For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I sabotage myself that way.  I can go a couple months with a change in eating habits, and do perfectly okay.  I start making progress, seeing visible change, and then…BAM!!  I … More Food and Being Fat

Why I shaved

Originally posted on Plucked from the Pit:
I was recently asked why I shaved.  I simply said I wanted change.  Truth be told, it was so much more.   For years, I had been wandering.  I forgot who I was.  I forgot the reasons I had married my wife.   I had began to think I was…